Understanding Anxiety: You're Not Broken, Just Out of Sync

Written By Christina Collins

Reconnecting to Yourself: A New Way to Understand Anxiety

If you're someone who’s always on the go, constantly thinking, and often anxious even when things seem fine—you’re not alone. In fact, you might be what some call “high-functioning anxious.” You get things done, you hold it together on the outside, but inside, it can feel like a tight, buzzing current you can’t quite turn off.

Many of my clients come in saying things like:
“I can’t relax.”
“My brain never shuts off.”
“I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore.”

What’s often happening beneath the surface is that their nervous system—the part of us that manages stress, safety, and connection—has gotten stuck in overdrive. The good news? You’re not broken. Your body is doing exactly what it’s designed to do—it just may be running a pattern that’s no longer serving you.

Your Nervous System: The Body’s Inner Alarm System

Think of your nervous system like the thermostat in your house. It adjusts automatically to keep you safe and balanced. But over time—especially after chronic stress, trauma, or even just living in a fast-paced, disconnected culture—your settings can get a little out of whack.

You might spend more time in “fight or flight” mode than your body is built for. Or you might swing between being constantly on edge and then suddenly shutting down or feeling numb. That sweet spot in between—the place where you feel grounded, present, and able to handle life’s ups and downs—is called your Window of Tolerance. It’s where healing happens.

Why Breath and Body Awareness Are a Starting Point

When we’re anxious, most of us live in our heads. We analyze, overthink, scroll, distract—because it can feel too overwhelming to be in the body.

But anxiety actually lives in the body. So if we want to work with it, that’s where we have to go.

I often start therapy with simple, practical tools like breathwork, gentle movement, and noticing physical sensations—not because they’re trendy, but because they help you come back to your body. They help you realize that safety is something you can feel, not just think your way into.

When people begin to slow down enough to notice their internal cues—tightness in the chest, shallow breath, clenched jaw—they can begin to respond to their anxiety differently. Less like a crisis, and more like a signal.

Your Anxiety Has a Story—and a Protector Behind It

Another powerful piece of this work is understanding that anxiety is rarely random. It’s often a younger part of us trying to protect us. In Internal Family Systems (IFS), we call these “parts”—and your anxious part likely has a reason it shows up the way it does. Maybe it learned long ago that being hyper-alert kept you safe. Or that people only respond when you push yourself to the brink.

The key is not to silence these parts, but to get to know them. To learn what they’re afraid of. To let your wiser, grounded Self take the lead again.

This is the heart of part work—not fixing you, but helping you relate to yourself in a new way. With more compassion, curiosity, and calm.

The Takeaway: You Can Rewire From the Inside Out

Healing anxiety isn’t about “calming down” on command. It’s about understanding the language of your body, reconnecting with the parts of you that have worked hard to protect you, and gradually widening your window of tolerance so you feel more at home in yourself.

Whether you’re just starting to notice your patterns or you’ve been in therapy before and want to go deeper—nervous system work, somatic awareness, and parts work can help. You don’t have to power through anymore. You can learn to tune in, instead of just toughing it out.

And that’s not weakness. That’s healing.

Resources:

  • Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score
    A foundational book on trauma, the body, and healing. Highly recommended for anyone exploring body-based approaches to mental health.

  • Richard C. Schwartz – No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
    A compassionate introduction to IFS and parts work—easy to read and deeply validating.

  • Peter Levine – Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma
    A classic text in somatic experiencing, offering insight into how trauma lives in the body and how to release it.

  • “Unbroken” with Laura Reagan, LCSW-C
    Covers trauma-informed and somatic approaches to therapy, including IFS and polyvagal theory.

  • “IFS Talks” Podcast
    A great resource for learning more about Internal Family Systems through interviews with experienced practitioners.

  • The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion – https://centerformsc.org
    Offers meditations and tools for developing a compassionate relationship with all parts of yourself.

  • Deb Dana’s Rhythm of Regulation Resources – https://www.rhythmofregulation.com
    Tools, interviews, and downloadable resources for nervous system regulation.

  • IFS Institute – https://ifs-institute.com
    Learn more about the IFS model and find certified therapists and trainings.

Christina Collins
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Understanding Trauma